Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The obvious contrary

The doctrine of stare decisis may be of limited application in raising children. This I found true both at vertical and horizontal levels. The style of our mothers or grandmothers may not all be suitable in dealing with the next generation with different needs and pre-disposition. The dealing with the first child to the subsequent children may require adjustment.

An occasion that I found difficult to deal is the ability of one of the children to speak of what I call ‘the obvious contrary’ to justify things or whatever he wants to do or refuse to do.

He would say, for instance:

‘I don’t shout’ (whilst he is shouting).

‘I have taken bath’ (whilst he hasn’t)

‘I haven’t watched the computer today’ (whilst he has been in front of the computer for hours)

‘I have washed my hand’ (when we asked him to wash hand before meal and he hasn’t)

And another which surprised me:

‘It is the one that you cooked will cause me stomach ache’ when I asked him to take the cookie that had been cooked instead of the one that was not for it may cause stomach ache.

But I found that it’s normal for the child of that age to deny the obvious:

“Lies to get something they want or to avoid something they don't want - Preschoolers tell these types of lies for the same reasons that adults do, but they often don't see anything wrong with telling a lie to gain a result they want. When children this age tell these types of lies, parents should try not to overreact. Instead, they should point out to their children that it is wrong to lie, and that it is important to tell the truth.

Even though preschoolers don't generally know that lying is wrong, this is a good time for parents to start teaching them the basics of truth telling. A good place for parents to start is by letting their children know how happy it makes them when their children tell the truth, and that not telling the truth makes it hard for them to develop trust.”



Hunny said...

Challenge for the parent is to educate their kids. Hope Allah ease your way through it sis..:)

umairatul fadhilat said...

sometimes denial is the true confirmation..